The thoughts of a toddler…and a mumma

One morning (yesterday to be precise), I was sitting on the sofa (getting soft toys put on me and around me) and I had a light-bulb moment. Don’t get used to it, it doesn’t happen very often. Pretty much the same amount of time as a leap year! Ah I jest, I jest….nowhere near that frequent. ANYWAY, my light-bulb moment was that the little person in front of me that morning, is extremely witty and would make incredible reading material. Slightly biased perhaps, but oh well! ;).

How many of you have either had children, or been able to be around young children? Probably a lot of you actually. I hadn’t really had the opportunity to be around a baby a lot until I was 16, when my little brother was born. So when I became a mummy at 23, I had a rough idea of what to expect in terms of the basic keeping them alive sort of thing. But one thing that I never prepared for, was the scenario of having a two year old coming out with comments and thinking to myself ‘darn it, I wish I had said that!’. Believe me, it happens a lot! For example, my eldest brother was wearing a university gown in a picture, and my little one said he was wearing a dress. Well, that and she called him a Princess. To say I was slightly disappointed that I never thought of that would be a rather large understatement! Hilarious.

No offence to little people and their intelligence, but I never realised a two year old would be able to give you reasons why they cannot do something, or won’t do something. ACTUAL reasons.

Me: Eva, can you bring your fork out please?
Eva: Not today mumma, I’m busy.
Me: Busy doing what?
Eva: Busy dancing to songs and kicking Minnie mouse ball in the living room.

Do you think I was annoyed with that? Honestly? No, I was laughing so hard that I had to sit down. Did she break anything? No. Does it matter? No. Was she happy? Yes. Or when I ask her to use her fork for her dinner, she uses it once and goes ‘I’m going to use my fingers now’. That was what she said at din dins tonight. She did what I asked, I never stated for how long haha. Called me a superstar for using my fork though. Ooooooh yeah! Gold star for mumma!!!
One thing I will advise though, do not tell a young child that you need the toilet in a supermarket, ever. Because they will never, ever forget. Even after weeks have passed from you saying it, in a busy supermarket on a Friday afternoon whilst walking past a huge group of people, and as loud as they can go ‘MUMMA, YOU NEED TOILET IN ASDA? YOU GOT UNDERWEAR MUMMA?!’. Yes, I am speaking that from experience. To be fair, I did stop and check that I had underwear on, just to be sure! More hilarity!

Another example is that when you ask them what something is, in one instance I was pointing at a tree, they are incredibly precise with their answer. Did she say a tree? NO. Her answer was ‘tree trunk’ because I was pointing at that. I was like ‘you’re two! smarty pants’. Not that I am insulting her intelligence, because she is a smart cookie, but I never expected her to come out with that! I’m not exactly a genius myself. Close, but not completely! I jest….kind of. I can actually have a chat with her, and not just about peppa pig or how Ra Ra goes ‘raaaahhhhh’. Big people conversations about diggers, tractors, The Hulk, Bon Jovi, Helidoctors or prescriptions…to name a few. I kid you not, all of that list is genuine. Our chats are brilliant! Oh to be two years old again! Instead of getting excited to go to a toy shop, she gets excited because she gets to go to Boots, and Asda!

Just like a lot of people, I do doubt myself sometimes as a mummy, especially the more ill that I get. It also doesn’t help seeing comments saying that ‘chronically ill mummies are selfish’ and their children ‘won’t want an ill parent and would want a normal one’. Now those days I doubt myself, or when it’s really visible that I’m in excruciating pain, Eva knows. Bearing in mind, she is two. She stops whatever she is doing and asks me if I’m okay and ‘what’s hurting mumma?’ then proceeds to say that she will fix it and how cream will make it all better. Two years old. She has more empathy than some adults I know! I don’t ever worry that she won’t love her ill mumma, because I’m her mumma. The person that allows her to be herself when others find fault.

That little girl amazes me every single day. Although I wish she would stop thinking everything costs £100 pounds, makes me feel like I’m going to pass out by spending all of that money….on £100 rice cakes…

I remember parts of my childhood, but two things I remember the most is receiving an easel for my 3rd birthday and having a ‘Jungle Book’ book in my bedroom. I also know that it was my mum that always did things like that. As a child you don’t know how to look at presents in a sentimental way, and why should you? It’s not until you’re older that you start realising the memories connected to your childhood, and funnily enough, some of those memories you put forward into your own children’s childhood without even realising that. I had a teddy bear when I little, what child doesn’t I guess. She had a wonderful name, Susie Bringnals. She went everywhere with me, my own little comfort bear, wouldn’t sleep without her. (Don’t worry, I am going somewhere with this). But unfortunately I grew up and the teddy was no longer in my bed as a comfort bear, obviously. Then one day, Eva picked her up. I froze as the emotion connected to that teddy came flooding back. The years of sitting crying cuddling it whilst my mum hugged me too. Cor I’m crying now! Or when Susie had a plaster put on her head as she ‘had a poorly’ just like me. That was my mum again. Anyway, I told Eva that the teddy’s name is Susie. You know what she did? Gave Susie a massive hug and pulled me in for a cuddle too, just like my mum did with me. You want to know another thing? Susie is currently sitting in my daughter’s bed right now, while she is asleep.

It’s thanks to my mum that I have manners, that I’m not materialistic and that I am very sentimental whilst knowing how to look after anything and everything that I am given. It’s also thanks to my mum that I’m a fiery mare and know how to cut someone down if they’re nasty! Why? Because my mum is a very strong woman who is extremely underestimated in terms of her capabilities. People need to give her way more credit. Now, people might say that toddlers have ‘terrible twos’, ahem, I disagree. They are learning different emotions and unlike us, can’t say it or argue. They try, don’t get me wrong. Because I am fiery, this also means my little girl is fiery, very strong willed and independent. Just like her mumma, and just like her nanny. Would I want to change that in myself? No. Why? Because if people don’t like the three generations of fiery, independence and power, don’t annoy us!

Becoming a mum, despite the fact I had a very low chance of being able to be a mummy, is the most rewarding thing that I have ever done. My daughter is the best thing I have ever made. I appreciate my daughter to the moon and back, and being a mum myself, I also appreciate what my mum did for me as a child. You would do anything to protect your children, regardless.

I’ll end with this, memories need to be made because sometimes they are the only things that you can hold onto when you feel like everything is falling around you. Or as Eva likes to say: ‘Today will be best day ever’.