New year, New..? No! #TWGTalks

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Seeing as we are in a brand new year, I thought that I would revamp a feature from 2016 that seemed to be quite popular! If you’ve been following my blog since day one, you might remember ‘What’s on your mind TWG?’ where I took controversial book related subjects, and spoke about them. As you do. However, seeing as I am aiming to become a freelance writer (or thereabouts), I thought that it would be good to showcase my writing in the only way I know how: talking. I am called the WRITING Garnet after all!

So, the title of this post; ‘New Year, New..? No!’, it is pretty vague eh? We are now into a brand new year (well, 15 days into it, who’s counting?) and usually that comes with the ‘new year, new me’ and 134542473773 resolutions that are usually broken within 12 hours (I’m being generous). If you are one of the rare few that do actually keep their new years resolutions then that is excellent! However, do we really need to pile on the pressure every single year with the whole ‘new me’ fiasco? If you wanted to change part of your lifestyle or try something new, you could do that any day of the year and own it. Why is the nod from the New Year so important?

‘When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what would I be, will I be pretty, will I be rich, here’s what she said to me’……

Go and be yourself and don’t give a fudgewallop what anybody else thinks!

You thought I was going to break into a bit of ‘Que sera sera’-ing didn’t you? My mum has actually said that line above by the way! Maybe not with those EXACT words, cough fudgewallop cough, but I am sure you get the gist. Did I listen to her though? Let’s just say that some human beans that I had the displeasure of being acquainted with, had other ideas for my confidence and self-worth. So yes, I did give a fudgewallop what everyone else thought of me and if I’m honest, I still do (to an extent). Recently I got betrayed by a person that I thought was a really good friend. They took my vulnerability and shredded it whilst trying to mould me into the person that THEY could ‘cope’ with. My illnesses, my struggles, my down days, the way I organised things in my home, everything – they all became problematic to that person. ‘What did you do?’ I hear you ask, I took a step back, removed their toxic asshat from my bubble and reviewed my life. Well, after bonding with tissues and coming to terms with the bullying & betrayal that is.

You’re probably wondering what my little story has to do with the new year, right? Fear not, I will explain…eventually. It dawned on me that I had spent most of my life changing myself to fit in with those around me, or making myself out to be something that I am quite clearly not. I lost sight of me, Kaisha. I didn’t know who I was, all I knew was what everyone else wanted me to be. But you know what? Nah, no more.

If you know me, you probably know my story (if not, it’s on a previous blog post, somewhere). You’ll know that my whole life is controlled by my body and things that I cannot see and cannot do anything about. Why the monkeybum would I want to then mould myself around other folk? I never knew that I was Play Doh!

Personally, New Year isn’t about creating a brand new you. By all means, if you want to do daring things, lose weight or have different aims in life, then go for it! You don’t need to become a brand new you to do that though, do you? If we stood in front of a mirror, it wouldn’t take us long to pick out all of the things that we dislike about ourselves. We have all done it, and we most probably will continue to do it. As Izzy from ‘A Year Of Saying Yes’ (part 1&2 are out now) by Hannah Doyle says; we don’t take the time to appreciate our lines, our beauty.

Don’t change yourself because we have entered a new year. Don’t change yourself because someone has a chip on their shoulder and your addition of salty sass ruins their vinegar. Make aims. Say YES to things (only if you want to though). Aim to become a better you, not a brand new you.

If it turns out that people cannot handle you, handle yourself and OWN IT. If you are having a asshat of a day and can’t stop crying; DON’T! It’s your life.

It’s YOUR song so YOU choose the dance.
New Year, I’m still me, and you’re still you.

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My thoughts on Maya Berger’s – Luna Tree: The Baby Project.

Luna Tree: The Baby Project by Maya Berger.
Published: 11th January 2016.
Paperback: ISBN-10: 1519689853
ISBN-13: 978-1519689856
Available to buy on Amazon UKAmazon US

An insight into Maya Berger’s ‘Luna Tree – The Baby Project’. – Author guest post.

‘Maya is kicking up her heels, living the fabulous and mostly carefree life of a twenty-something young woman. However, in the back of her mind continuous longing for a good marriage and family lingers. How do you find the right man, the one who sticks through thick and thin? Will he provide you with the things you find essential in a relationship? Maya kissed a few frogs before finding her Prince Charming, but what followed was of higher importance. She started feeling chronic pain in her lower back, the pain that wouldn’t let her neither sit nor stand. Thus Maya began her relentless quest for diagnosis and healing, which she ends after discovering Energy healing. She travels the globe to receive and raise her own stored Energy, the one that changes everything. Her ultimate desires come true.’

Little over a week ago I was given the Luna Tree as a prize on Twitter by Maya Berger, so before I had read the book myself, I invited Maya onto my blog to find out why she wrote it. Here’s what she said: An insight into Maya Berger’s ‘Luna Tree – The Baby Project’.

Fast forward to now and the book has been read and time has been spent thinking about the contents of the book. With other books I wouldn’t spend a couple days thinking in detail about what I had just read, but this book was different. It’s about Maya’s life, the paths she has taken to get to where she is now, and the hurdles she has fought to get over.
In the book, Maya describes her relationship with her family as well as her personal relationships in her bid to find ‘the one’. She tells the readers her ups and her downs and how life for her was ‘normal’ until one day she woke up, and her whole life changed.
Maya started to have physical struggles that left her in chronic pain, and despite going to all the ‘best doctors’ as recommended by family or friends, not one of them could give her a definitive diagnosis.
The way that Maya approaches her story with such honesty is refreshing. She explains how she rubbish she felt and how frustrated the situation was for her. I am quite aware that a lot of people reading this will probably be able to relate to the frustration of no diagnosis, constant pain, life limits and severe frustration. Yes? Thought so, myself included.
Maya even explains how and why she turned to alternative therapies, despite being aware of how people would say that she is ‘paying for air’. The thing is, it seemed to help for her and put her in a more comfortable state and the life limits not being as rigorous as before.
Who is anyone to judge? Firstly, Maya lives in a completely different country which has different cultures and beliefs as opposed to the UK. Secondly, it’s her money, her life. She found something that worked for HER and she grabbed it. I personally find it admirable that Maya had the confidence to stick to her guns and carry on with what she felt was right. It takes a lot of guts to do that, especially where chronic illnesses are concerned because you’re not only fighting with your own body, you’re fighting with other peoples misunderstanding of you.
Luna Tree is just one story of a persons battles through life, not only in terms of finding her diagnosis, but finally becoming a mother. Everyone has a different story and a different approach to whatever their life throws at them. This story is an honest, admirable, and a very powerful account of reality for Maya. The strength that one person can have is very commendable, especially when she has found a way to turn it around.
Nobody fights the same battles, nobody jumps the same hurdles. As long as you jump your own hurdles and fight your battles in a way that is right for you, who is anyone to ask for anything different?
Thank you Maya for sharing your honest story.