#Review – Hot Mess by Lucy Vine (@Lecv) @orionbooks @ElaineEgan_ #HotMess

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Hot Mess [n.] – someone attractive, who is often in disarray.

Have you ever shown up to Sunday brunch still smelling of Saturday night?
Chosen bed, Netflix and pizza over human contact?
Stayed in your mould-ridden flat because it’s cheap?

Meet your spirit animal, Ellie Knight.
Her life isn’t turning out exactly as she planned.
She hates her job, her friends are coupling up and settling down, and her flatmates are just plain weird.

Some people might say she’s a hot mess but who really has their sh*t together anyway? For fans of Fleabag and Girls, this is a fresh and funny coming-of-age story with a single-girl heroine that will speak to millennials everywhere.

What does TWG think?

OHMYGOD where has this book been all my life?!?! -puts back of hand to forehead dramatically-. I am over the moon that an author has taken one look at the ‘lovey dove sticking tongue down neck slurping bae’ type love stories, cleared them away like a totes dramatic clearing the desk scene in a Hollywood movie, and been all ‘just…no, time to get realistic!!’. Well, TECHNICALLY the author may not have done that, but in my mind she has (just to clarify before I get spanked).

I will reiterate; WHERE HAS THIS BOOK BEEN ALL MY LIFE?! Choosing to be single is the quickest way to get a bucket load of dirty looks, people don’t expect you to like your own company! Some folk just want to be selfish, get laid when they choose to and not when they get poked in the back with a morning love stick. Tell me, why is that so hard to believe?

Well ladies, times are about to change thanks to Lucy Vine and #HotMess! First of all let me just give you a little tip; don’t have a drink in your hand at the start of this book. Why? Because, (and trust me on this), you will no doubt laugh your booty off, end up spilling your drink onto your lap and watch it settle in the most unfortunate place. Yes,  you will look like you’ve done a little wee wee in your pants. Oh and yes, the first chapter (and the rest of the book tbh) is absolutely hilarious. I don’t mean ‘HAHA that’s funny’, I’m meaning full on snorting, tears streaming down your face, as well as realising that you have actual stomach muscles. It took me a while to stop laughing after that first chapter, even whilst cleaning up my fake piddle.

Ellie has had a few disastrous dates (understatement!). What makes it worse is how she doesn’t even WANT to be on the dating scene, but thanks to her best friends and the constant stream of pitying looks from all and sundry, she meets a few guys just to see if they can change her mind. If you hadn’t guessed it already, Ellie.Likes.Being.Single.
She doesn’t want to be tied down, but nobody seems to get that!

#HotMess is such a relatable read. Ellie’s antics will have readers covering their faces with embarrassment, laughing out loud, nodding in agreement, as well-being Ellie’s biggest cheerleaders. Not only that, the book contains several characters whose personalities are larger than life, and who are incredible to read about. Two words; Ellie’s dad. (Go and buy the book so you can find out what I’m on about!)

I absolutely loved everything about #HotMess! The humour was AMAZING. The storyline, in my opinion, is exactly what the book world has been missing. The relatable factor went above and beyond my expectations. The force of the girl-power was insane – fantastically written. Lucy Vine’s novel is like the modern-day Sex and the City, except the fact that there is only one woman and not four. See, modern day!!

If you’re the type of girl who would prefer to appear on Gladiators than Blind Date, #HotMess is your guardian angel. If you’re the type of girl who is all for the white picket fences, couple double denim, and pet names for each others private parts, then you’re going to see the side of the #singleladies in all its glory!

Laugh out loud hilarity from page one, through to page 304. #HotMess is filthy, fun, and effing fabulous, there is nothing about Lucy Vine’s book that I didn’t like. Honestly, this book is outstanding, I’m having withdrawal symptoms already. Roll on the next book from Lucy Vine, I want her as my new BFF! OHMGZ please -begs-.

Absolutely phenomenal. Hot Mess is the easiest 5 stars I have even given a book, even though it deserves the whole universe of stars!

One last thing, Hot Mess is 100% my MOST FAVOURITE BOOK EVERRRRRRR!!!!!
Go buy it, now!!!!!!

Buy right now from Amazon UK

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#Tour! It’s Not You, It’s Them by @PortiaMacIntosh @LoveReadRomance @HQDigitalUK

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Oh Em Geeee!!!! It’s that time again -bounces-, another book from the oh so fabulous Portia MacIntosh!! I am absolutely thrilled, and super excited to be todays stop on the tour for such a wonderful lady’s new release; ‘Its Not You, It’s Them’! Review and excerpt anyone? Silly question eh!

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Blurb.

First comes love. Then comes family…

After a lifetime of kissing frogs, Roxie Pratt has given up on finding her own fairytale romance. That is, until she meets her very own Prince Charming, Mark Wright, and he sweeps Roxie off her feet!
So when Mark finally gets down on one knee and pops the question, there’s only one thing left to do: meet the family! And when everything has been picture-perfect so far, what could possibly go wrong…?

What does TWG think?

Wow! I thought that Portia had set the bar high with her previous book, ‘Truth Or Date’! I was rather apprehensive (yet very excited) about Portia’s newest book because I loved her previous one so much, I was hoping this one would be similar in writing style and wouldn’t disappoint. SQUEAL! It was similar yet even better than her previous book! I didn’t even think that was possible (it was fab fyi).

Roxie has met her Prince Charming, her one and only, the man of her dreams (you catch my drift) with Mark Wright. Where Roxie is concerned, he most certainly lives up to his last name (even though I’m sure a lot of you will be thinking TOWIE!). The happy couple is living in their own loved up bubble and are pretty certain that nothing will come along to burst their bubble. Well, certainty isn’t guaranteed really is it? Especially when the time has come…to push the button….of her boyfriends parents house! Dun dun dunnnnnnnn!!!

I snlaughed by the end of the first page, no joke. I am however, starting to wonder what goes through Portia’s mind given the fact she can reduce someone to tears of laughter in a few sentences. Genius.

Roxie and Mark’s relationship is fuelled by their love of Ann Summers…and some, as well as being super lovey dovey. I honestly thought that I would find it too sickly sweet, but Portia’s incredible one liners ensured that I wasn’t shouting at the book to ‘get a room!’. I did feel quite sorry for Roxie many times throughout the book due to the way that she was being treated, but then Portia being Portia, ended up making me laugh whilst Roxie was feeling sad! I’m not mean, honestly! It was just incredibly hard NOT to laugh during this book as every single thing was followed by hints of sarcasm or the odd innuendo. Despite that, the book was an honest representation of what meeting the parents can be like, from a female point of view.

I am actually laughing right now as I write this! When the storyline concentrates on the events with Mark’s family, actions spoke far louder than words and Mark’s family seemed to be making a name for themselves. An unpleasant name. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t evil, they were just damn right rude, especially when Mark played into their hands! The way that Roxie handled herself in those particular situations spoke volumes. She was just being herself yet showing the readers that things like that do actually happen when you go and meet the parents. Well, not all of the antics that Roxie engaged in, I’m sure..

I had no idea whether Mark and Roxie’s relationship would stand the test of time, especially given the fact that Roxie felt like seducing her boyfriend in his parents house, multiple times! Absolutely hilarious, cringey and just….hilarious. Disturbing too, but as I said above, I wonder what goes through the author’s head! Oh to be able to mind read!! It is quite possible that many readers may be able to pick up some tips from this book! If you do, please don’t tell me about them haha!

Portia writes such brilliant, engaging and truly hilarious novels, I never want them to end once I start reading. ‘It’s Not You, It’s Them’ has got to be my favourite book Ms.MacIntosh has written because of the genius one liners, fabulous storyline and on point situations. Honestly. I absolutely LOVED reading this book, everything was perfect. My sort of book from start to finish, Portia MacIntosh has delivered yet again, if she doesn’t get an award for this and her humour I will be stunned. It’s Not You, It’s Them has found its way into my Top 5 books of all time and I cannot recommend this book enough. You HAVE to read it.

Thank you LRR, Portia and HQ!

Book Links: Amazon | Amazon UK | B&N | Google Play | Goodreads

Author Info:
Portia MacIntosh has been ‘making stuff up’ for as long as she can remember – or so she says. Whether it was blaming her siblings for that broken vase when she was growing up, blagging her way backstage during her rock chick phase or, most recently, whatever justification she can fabricate to explain away those lunchtime cocktails, Portia just loves telling tales. After years working as a music journalist, Portia decided it was time to use her powers for good and started writing novels. Taking inspiration from her experiences on tour with bands, the real struggle of dating in your twenties and just trying to survive as an adult human female generally, Portia writes about what it’s really like for women who don’t find this life stuff as easy as it seems.

Author Links: Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads
Tour Link

Extract of ‘It’s Not You, It’s Them’ by Portia MacIntosh.

‘God, I’m bored,’ I whine, like a petulant child. ‘I hate long car journeys.’
Mark laughs. ‘We’re five minutes from home, Roxie,’ he reminds me. ‘And fifteen minutes from your parents’ house. Still nervous?’
‘Still nervous,’ I reply.
It just feels so strange to be meeting the parents after getting engaged, like we’re doing things in the wrong order.
‘They’ll love you,’ Mark tells me for the millionth time. ‘It’s a long journey; you can’t spend it worrying.’
‘I know, I know. At least we’re making a stop to see my parents, then we can get a nice, warm coffee in us. It’s freezing!’
‘Oh, no, I know how this goes,’ Mark laughs. ‘You’ll drink too much, and we’ll have to stop so you can use the loo every ten miles…’
‘Oi,’ I laugh. ‘I’m a grown-ass woman. I’ll be thirty next year. I’m fully in control of my bladder, thank you.’

I shudder a little, at the thought of turning thirty. ‘Next year’ makes it sound like it’s a long way away, but it’s December now, and my birthday is in February. Mark doesn’t think it’s a big deal – he’s thirty-two, and assures me that nothing changes when you hit the big 3-0. He’s promised me that my face won’t instantly wrinkle, that I won’t become boring overnight, and that I won’t suddenly be turned away from night clubs for looking too old. While I fear that, as I grow older, things are only going to go downhill for me looks-wise, Mark only gets better with age. Mark is the very definition of tall, dark and handsome, and even though a few grey hairs are starting to creep in on the sides of his head – my God – it looks so sexy. My newly cut blonde lob might have a few greys in there, maybe, but I wouldn’t know because I have my hair routinely highlighted. If I did have grey hair showing, though, it would not look good. On Mark it looks hot and this is beyond unfair. Like he’s not already out of my league; as we grow older, the fact we’re in different leagues is only going to seem more obvious. Can’t wait for the day he’s walking around all George Clooney and I’m looking like Mrs Doubtfire.

#Review! Marry Me Tomorrow by Carla Burgess (@MsBear123) @UKCarina

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Blurb.

Twelve days. Two gold rings. One BIG secret…

Emily needs a husband…fast. It’s just a few days until Christmas and to finally put a stop to her nagging mother’s matchmaking plans, Emily has convinced her that she’s already married!

And when her excited mum announces that she’s coming to stay, Emily can think of only one man to play the part: gorgeous ex-soldier, Sam. It’s the best part of her day, handing him a coffee every morning – but then, Emily never expected to offer him her hand in marriage, too…

All that’s left is for Sam to say ‘I do’ – it’s the perfect plan! So why then, do her ‘pretend’ feelings for Sam seem far too real?

What does TWG think?

When I first spotted this book on Carina’s Facebook account I just knew that I had to go and buy it. After all, with a title like ‘Marry Me Tomorrow’, how can anyone let that go by them without reading it?! Far too curious for my own good.

It’s Christmas time and that can only mean one thing: family time! It’s all well and good to see your family over Christmas; just as long as you haven’t told them that you have gotten married….

Oh, wait, it’s only Emily that does that isn’t it? Emily’s mum likes to think she is Cilla Black (may she rest in peace) and set her daughter up on dates; never mind the fact that she might actually be happy single! So, to make life ‘easier’ for herself, COUGH, Emily told her mum that she got married when she actually hadn’t. Where will Emily find a man who will willingly become her ‘husband’ over Christmas? Nothing says ‘marry me’ like a takeaway cup of Nescafe of a morning…

I’ll admit, I surrendered to this book and became its page mistress after reading the first couple of pages! I could NOT put it down. Even though I had an inkling of what Emily was up to, there was still a small part of me that thought she wouldn’t go through with it. If someone came up to me with a cup of coffee and asked me to do them a favour I would politely take the coffee and be miffed that they forgot the sugar! Never mind agreeing to Emily’s ‘genius’ idea (I wouldn’t by the way). Given the fact that I thought Emily’s idea was far from genius, it made me want to keep on reading. The absurdity and bizarreness of her offering made for excellent reading.

As more of the story unfolded I kept giggling because as readers, we were aware of the secret and her mum wasn’t, so ‘watching’ Emily and her beau trying to match their stories was absolutely hilarious. I thoroughly enjoyed the spontaneity of the storyline and all of the characters involved, well, bar one (but you’ll find out for yourself which one I’m on about!).

I haven’t come across a book that was cringy, bizarre and hilarious all at once, until now. One thing has left me quite shocked though; Marry Me Tomorrow is the first novel by debut author Carla Burgess. FIRST! I had absolutely no idea that this book was her first because of the way it was written. The storyline didn’t scream ‘debut’ one bit; instead, it felt as though Carla had been publishing books for a long time.

A fun, bizarre and unexpected read from debut author Carla Burgess. Marry Me Tomorrow ticked all my boxes and some. The perfect pick me up type book that has flown into my top books of 2016. Fantastic book, cannot wait to see what Carla brings out next!

Marry Me Tomorrow by Carla Burgess, published by Carina, is available to buy now from Amazon UK

#Review! Perfect Mishap by Aimee Horton(@AimeeHorton) @V_Mpress

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Blurb.

When Dottie and her husband move to a tiny village, she’s excited to make new friends. But when the neighbours uncover a scandalous incident, all fingers point to Dottie… Can she clear her name before her reputation is permanently ruined?

In this humorous blend of chick lit and cozy mystery, you’ll be laughing right along with gin-drinking amateur sleuth Dottie. A delightfully funny romp!

What does TWG think?

I am rather angry with myself right now! ‘Perfect Mishap’ got revamped not so long ago (was previously titled Mothers Ruined), and I know that because I was one of the bloggers to reveal the brand new covers and titles. Bear in mind that that was a couple of months ago and I have only just gotten round to reading the first book in the Disaster Series. I mean, what the actual vodka martini! After stalking, sorry, following,  Aimee over on Twitter and Facebook since the reveal, I have learnt that she is indeed, HILARIOUS. Her status updates and posts are so real and relatable that they make a kid covered in sudocreme come across like an artist that needs a bath. If you don’t follow her, you need to.

Okay, back to the book. Due to the fact that I was well aware of her hilarity (and favouritism towards gin) well before I read the book, I kept my fingers crossed that she had put her humour into the story.

She did! I wasn’t expecting to snort like a pig whilst also laughing like a seal….two sentences in. I mean really, either I’m easily amused or she’s absolutely hilarious. I’m going to say both! I LOVED meeting Dottie! She even lives up to her name with her actions as well as having such a big heart. It is quite clear that Dottie’s everyday life is based on everyday people, and not the people who spend more time in Hollywood than in Parenthood (just a guess). I found that quite refreshing and I’ll be honest, I would have loved to find this book before I had had my little girl; One Born Every Minute has nothing on Dottie!

Every scenario, emotion and baby moment will no doubt have A LOT of readers nodding their heads to. Nothing in the book is sugar coated, it’s relatable and Aimee shows that its okay to look like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards after having a baby. That it’s okay to do things differently to anyone else. More importantly, Aimee shows that its okay to be YOU and laugh about things when they aren’t going how you thought they would (within reason).

‘Perfect Mishap’ is such a refreshing and hilarious read, I may even go as far to say that it’s like confidence in a book. Even when the storyline took an unexpected turn, it didn’t lose any of its flow or credibility. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of this book, it is GENIUS! I cannot wait to get stuck into the next book in the series!

Perfect Mishap by Aimee Horton, published by Velvet Morning Press, is available to buy now from Amazon UK

Review! ‘We Were On A Break’ by Lindsey Kelk (@LindseyKelk) @HarperCollinsUK

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Blurb.

Is it a break? Or is it a blip?

‘You’ve just had a holiday,’ I pointed out, trying not to yawn. ‘Wasn’t that enough of a break?’
‘I don’t mean that kind of break.’

There’s nothing worse than the last day of holiday. Oh wait, there is. When what should have been a proposal turns into a break, Liv and Adam find themselves on opposite sides of the life they had mapped out.

Friends and family all think they’re crazy; Liv throws herself into work – animals are so much simpler than humans – and Adam tries to get himself out of the hole he’s dug.

But as the short break becomes a chasm, can they find a way back to each other? Most importantly, do they want to?

What does TWG think?

Please say that I’m not the only one that thought of Friends when I read the title of the book? Good ol’ Ross and Rachel saga has had a 21st century facelift, and has now become the Liv and Adam saga, courtesy of Lindsey Kelk!
Best friend + best friend married to partners brother = straightforward, yes? Ha ha ha, apparently not! Secrets are meant to be kept secret…especially when they’re about…oh I don’t know…a PROPOSAL?!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to talk seeing as I can’t always keep presents that I have bought a secret…from the person that I’m giving them to. BUT! In my defence, I have never blabbed about a proposal. Maybe that’s because I haven’t been told about one. Anyway!

You go on holiday with your partner, aware of the fact a proposal is likely, only to come back from your holiday as the other half of Ross and Rachel. WELCOME HOME! Who does that?! Rhetorical question, you’ll find out for yourself!
I’m sure you’re aware by now that Lindsey’s book is far from being drama free, but oh em GEE, it’s a drama filled, tooty frootie, fantastic book to sink your teeth into! The drama becomes your friend with this book, well, it became mine. One of the main characters found themselves on the naughty step within the first chapter or so. I won’t say which character it was as I don’t want to give too much away. But let me tell you, as their punishment they had to prove themselves to me by the end of the book!

The whole storyline is fantastically written, with bucketful’s of Lindsey Kelk’s trademark humour throughout. Lindsey’s humour turns a humiliating situation, (well several), into situations to be remembered for the right reasons instead of the bad. Even the one liners stand out more than Joey Essex’s tan! If you want to get a good tummy workout, read this book, you’ll forever be doubled over laughing. Absolutely brilliant.

I loved the diversity of the character’s personalities, especially as a couple of them were definitely marmite characters. I do like marmite but I’m still undecided whether they would get my vote or not.

Whilst I was reading the book, I felt as though I was involved in something more than just words on a screen (Kindle). It felt like I was part of somebody’s personal life, enjoying the laughs, and feeling the rollercoaster of emotions slap me in the face. ‘We Were On A Break’ is more than just a 21st century Ross and Rachel saga, it truly showcases Lindsey’s exceptional writing skills and her ability to make her readers feel like her friends.

Even though the chances of a sore tummy and your neighbours thinking that you have turned into a banshee through laughing, are high, the hilarity factor doesn’t undermine the fact that this is such an impressionable story. Instead, the hilarity gives the soul bearing depth of the story a piggy back over to the swings. In simple terms, everything flows, everything works, and everything is absolutely brilliant.

I cannot fault ‘We Were On A Break’ at all, except that it ended, obviously. Lindsey Kelk, I bow down to thee you literary, lipstick, author genius!

I received a complimentary copy of the book in return for my honest views.

We Were On A Break by Lindsey Kelk, published by HarperCollinsUK, will be available for you to get your mitts on from the 6th October 2016!
To pre-order your copy click: HERE HERE HERE

#Review: The Honey Trap by Mary Jayne Baker (@MaryJayneBaker) @HarperImpulse

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Blurb.

The trap is set – but which one of them is the bait?

Journalist Angel Blackthorne is looking for her next big scoop. When her sleazy editor asks her to use her charms on super successful – and married – film director Sebastian Wilchester for a juicy exposé, Angel thinks what the hell? There’s a staff job on the horizon, and, let’s be honest, no one can make a cheater cheat if they don’t want to, right?

After the scandal breaks, Angel tries to put the story – and Seb – behind her, but fate seems to have other ideas. A near miss at a premiere after-party and a shared love of vintage film brings the honey closer to the trap.

But what happens when pretence leads to passion, and a ‘kiss and tell’ becomes something real?

What does TWG think?

Firstly, I would like apologise to Mary Jayne for only getting round to posting my review now, I’m sorry! Hopefully you’ll forgive me once you’ve read my review!

If you’re unfamiliar to the term ‘honey trap’ or unaware of what it entails, do not google it. Instead, turn off your phone, put your feet up and ensure you have copious amounts of chocolate as you’ll be finding out what a honey trap is and some. Make sure you’re in a well ventilated room too whilst reading, as this book gets pretty steamy and seeing as you will not be able to put it down once you begin, you’d better get comfortable.
Oh and FYI, I’m speaking from experience. Mary Jayne Baker’s ‘The Honey Trap’, honey trapped my backside to the sofa and it only let me leave when I had finished reading!

How far would you go, to ‘secure’ a permanent job position? Work extra late? Take on more work? Run around sucking up to all the managers? Or, would you honey trap a rather successful film director that may, oh I don’t know..be married? Angel Blackthorne clearly wanted the job so honey trap she did! Oh dear, thought that was bad? Keep an eye out for Angel’s editor, just saying.

Oh my GOSH, have I just stepped into a sauna? Someone fan me now as this book is HAWT, HAWT, HAWT! ‘The Honey Trap’ is such an indulgent, steamfest from start to finish, I was hooked. I couldn’t peal my eyes away from the book even if I had wanted to (I didn’t want to). Despite the high levels of hotness, it was quite clear from the onset that it was all going to go tits up (excuse the pun). I mean, as much as I would like to say that the trapping part of the book was the most knuckle tapping, other parts of the storyline shocked me more!

Mary Jayne Baker sure knows how to keep your attention with her writing. Steam, lust, handsome male AND enough drama to give The Only Way Is Essex a run for its money, why would your eyes be anywhere else! The storyline was full of all the raunchy subjects that are always seen as taboo, yet it was written brilliantly. It definitely made me think about circumstances that I wouldn’t usually think about, and the aftermath of those decisions. That said, I didn’t think of the book as an eye opener in terms of the ‘serious’, underlying content. It was more of a ‘there is more to this world that meets the eye’, sort of eye opener. Basically, it put angels and devils against each other and the devils won by miles!

The humour within the book is on point, absolutely hilarious and timed to perfection;  Mary Jayne Baker definitely kept me on my toes in more ways than one. An absolutely brilliant read, outstanding!
It should come with a warning though: ‘Too hot to handle’!

Thank you to the author for allowing me a complimentary copy in return for my honest opinion.

The Honey Trap by Mary Jayne Baker, published by Harper Impulse, is available to buy now from Amazon UK