The Mother I Could Have Been, or the mother I want to be? #TheMotherICouldHaveBeen @KerryFSwayne #KerryFisher @Bookouture #blogger

Thanks so much to Bookouture for the ARC and tour invite for Kerry Fisher and ‘The Mother I Could Have Been’. Here is my review:

Why would you walk away from the one person you can’t live without?

As a child, Vicky Hall never had the sort of family she wanted. The least important person in her new step-family, ignored by her mother in favour of her two younger half-siblings, Vicky was always an afterthought. Sitting alone at her graduation ceremony at the age of twenty-one, she vows to create her own family and her own life, one which is full of the love and attention she has always craved.

When Vicky meets William and falls pregnant in Greece that summer, it isn’t planned. But the two of them believe they can make it work, showering their child with the love which they believe should be enough.

But when her son Theo is two, Vicky leaves him in the care of her mother-in-law, walks out of her front door and drives to a hotel where she takes a room for the night. She doesn’t return.

It’s unthinkable.

What kind of mother does that?

The kind who is hiding a story you can never imagine.

What does TWG think?

Please say that I wasnt the only one to read this thinking, ‘how could anyone walk away from their own child?’

Now before anyone reading this thinks I’m judging, I’m not because, even though the above thought kept going through my mind as though stuck on repeat, there are times where we have no idea what goes through someone else’s mind in one particular moment. Naturally, as the story progressed, the reasons behind Vicky’s departure became clear. But, just like Caro, another character who appears later in the book, thought, were those reasons a justifiable reason overall?

I could see where Vicky was coming from. Her sons grandmother even got my back up and yes, I had the urge to shout at the interfering witch through my kindle. Vicky had next to no confidence. She couldn’t even trust herself to make the right decision because she didn’t believe that those decisions were right. She doubted every move she made, every thought that crossed her mind – everything. I did feel for her as I could see that she was battling against her own mind and herself. In all honesty, I found it quite heartbreaking that Vicky felt so lost, like she couldnt reach out to her family in fear of judgement. Scary how powerful fear can be, isnt it?

I mentioned Caro further up in my review and, just like Vicky, she was also battling with herself because of the mislaid communication with her family, especially daughter, India. Again, it would be quick of us, as readers, to judge the situations in this book, and it would be so easy for us to sit and shout about how we would do things differently. Would we though? India was such an immature character who seriously needed to grow up and, even though I wanted to shout that, I was also able to see that the character had her own demons to deal with.

Kerry Fisher, as I’m sure you can tell, gave me a lot of food for thought with her latest book. It also goes to show that, whilst our eyes want to see one thing, our minds want to believe something completely different. Fisher highlighted how life isn’t always plain sailing and that people find themselves making decisions which will change their life, and the lives of others, for a good long while.

I’m going round the houses here, apologies. I appreciated the strength of the storyline and the sheer power and determination of every single character mentioned. Yes, they all had their flaws, but to them they were doing the best that they possibly could.

I thought Kerry Fisher absolutely nailed this book. It was suspenseful, relatable, emotional, intense, yet still an unbreakable novel which had the power of the entire world in its hands. I loved it.

Buy now.

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